FADE IN:
INT. STEPHENS LIVING ROOM - DAY
1 SAMANTHA enters from. the kitchen and crosses to 1
the foot of the stairs.
SAMANTHA
(calling)
Sweetheart, what kind of
eggs would you like?
DARRIN appears at the top of the stairs, in the
process of putting on his tie (or whatever).
DARRIN
How about... chicken eggs?
SAMANTHA
Ho ho. Fried or scrambled?
DARRIN
Scrambled.
(kiss-kiss)
Love you.
He ducks out of sight. O.S. we hear the baby as it
CRIES briefly. Samantha exits hurriedly to the kitchen.
CUT TO:
INT. KITCHEN - DAY
2 As Samantha enters and crosses to the baby's bassinet. 2
SAMANTHA
What is it, love?
The baby's CRY changes to a GURGLE.
SAMANTHA (cont'd)
I see. Just missed your mommy,
huh?
2 CONTINUED: 2
She crosses to counter and takes two eggs which
she has previously set in a mixing bowl and
cracks one on the edge of the bowl. Nothing
comes out of the egg -- except a small piece
of paper which flutters to the counter.
Samantha picks it up.
SAMANTHA (cont'd)
(reading)
"I am a prisoner in an egg
foo yung factory."
She looks up in mock exasperation.
SAMANTHA (cont'd)
All right, who's the smart
aleck witch. You owe me one
egg.
A PUFF OF SMOKE goes up and MAURICE APPEARS.
MAURICE
I hardly think that's a
proper way to address one's
father
SAMANTHA
Daddy I'm sorry.
(she kisses him)
I thought it was Mother or
Serena. I'd hardly expect
you to make such a sublime
entrance.
MAURICE
I'm in a sublime mood....
I didn't want to disturb...
(indicates the baby)
...how is the little prince?
SAMANTHA
Just fine. Looking more like
you every day.
MAURICE
For that, my child, I'm going
to bestow on you the highest
honor at my disposal.
He gives her a kiss on the brow.
SAMANTHA
Why thank you.
2 CONTINUED: (2) 2
He crosses to the bassinet and beams down at
the baby.
MAURICE
Hello there, Adam! My, he's
just thriving, isn't he?
Incidentally, before I left
London, I registered him for
membership in the Warlock's
Club.
SAMANTHA
(incredulously)
At the age of five weeks?
MAURICE
It's never too early. Before
know it, he'll be a man.
Well, a man never knows when
he'll want to stay in town for
the night. And if he's not a
member of the club, he'll have
to go to a hotel. And we can't
have that, can we?
SAMANTHA
(hiding a smile)
I guess not.
MAURICE
And how's Tabitha? As radiant
as her mother, I hope.
SAMANTHA
(smiling)
She's fine.. She's taking a
walk with Esmeralda...how about
staying for breakfast and you
can see her later.
MAURICE
Love to. I'll have some caviar
and champagne. Beluga caviar,
of course, caught in the month
of May off the north shore of
the Caspian. And the champagne...
SAMANTHA
I'm sorry, but I'm fresh out of
caviar and champagne from anywhere.
2 CONTINUED: (3) 2
MAURICE
Nonsense. How can you be "fresh
out" of anything as long as you
have your powers?
SAMANTHA
Oh, daddy, stop it -- you know
that using witchcraft is off
limits around here. Except in
extreme emergencies.
MAURICE
This is an emergency. I'm
dying for some caviar and
champagne.
SAMANTHA
(with a laugh)
You haven't lived till you've
tasted a hand-made breakfast.
During following, Samantha busies herself with the
breakfast preparations.
MAURICE
You know what the problem is
here? Ego. Plain, unvarnished
mortal ego. Your husband doesn't
want you to use your natural gifts
because it makes him feel inferior.
But I tell you unequivocally, if he
had the same powers, his objections
would vanish in a flash.
SAMANTHA
I don't agree.
3 ANOTHER ANGLE - ENTRANCE 3
As Darrin enters.
DARRIN
(slight edge)
Oh, what a pleasant surprise.
Company for breakfast.
SAMANTHA
(trying to keep peace)
Yes, Daddy's always a wonderful
surprise.
5
3 CONTINUED: 3
MAURICE
(all warmth and charm)
What a pleasure to see you, Dustin.
DARRIN
Darrin.
MAURICE
(extending his hand)
It's been much too long since
our last meeting!
DARRIN
(demurring)
Oh, I wouldn't say that.
SAMANTHA
(quickly)
Darrin, Daddy's going to join
us for breakfast.
DARRIN
(nodding)
Terrific.
Maurice puts his arm around Darrin's shoulder and
leads him to a seat at the table.
MAURICE
Samantha's looking simply
fabulous, my boy. No doubt
thanks to your tender loving
care.
DARRIN
Well, it's really been my pleasure.
MURICE
(chuckling, to Samantha)
Got a delightful sense of humor,
too, hasn't he? I think your
mother's entirely wrong about him.
(to Darrin)
Sit down, sit down.
DARRIN
(sitting)
Thank you, sir.
MAURICE
Please,why so formal? Call
me Maurice.
3 CONTINUED: (2) 3
DARRIN
Okay.. Maurice.
MAURICE
Or Dad.
DARRIN
Okay...Dad.
MAURICE
You were right. "Sir" is best.
DARRIN
(to Samantha)
What's for breakfast?
SAMANTHA
(wryly)
I think we're having fatted calf.
MAURICE
I've got a little-surprise for
you, Darryl...
DARRIN
Darrin...
MAURICE
In honor of the arrival of my
first grandson...
He reaches out and plucks a jewelry box from the air
and hands it to Darrin.
DARRIN
That's really not necessary,
Maurice...
MAURICE
Sir.
DARRIN
Sir. Well, I...thanks.
He opens it to reveal a handsome pocket watch.
MAURICE
It's waterproof, anti-magnetic
and has built-in aircraft radar.
SAMANTHA
It's very handsome.
3 CONTINUED: (3) 3
MAURICE
It's shock-proof, too.
DARRIN
I don't know what to say.
MAURICE
And best of all, you can perform
witchcraft with it.
DARRIN
Now I know what to say.
(handing it back)
No. thanks.
MAURICE
Now look, Darwood....
DARRIN
Darrin.
MAURICE
(handing watch back)
What's wrong with using this watch
just to tell time?
SAMANTHA
You didn't mention it could do that.
MAURICE
You don't have to use the powers
with which the watch is endowed.
But they're present, if you need
them.
DARRIN
(handing it back)
Oh, no you don't! I'm not falling
into that trap!
MAURICE
I command you to accept this watch!
DARRIN
With all due respect, sir, you
cannot command me.
MAURICE
(conciliatory)
Dustin, my boy...
SAMANTHA
It's Darrin, my boy.
8
3 CONTINUED: (4) 3
DARRIN
(to Samantha)
Thank you.
SAMANTHA
Daddy, if he doesn't want it,
why force him?
MAURICE
But why does he have to be such
a dog in the manger?
SAMANTHA
He's no such thing. He's a
man of principle.
MAURICE
You mean, he was a man with
principle.
He GESTURES and a ST. BERNARD POPS IN in Darrin's place.
SAMANTHA
Daddy, that's unfair, unreasonable
and downright despicable!
MAURICE
(with relish)
Isn't it, though??
SAMANTHA
And I order you to --
MAURICE
You what?
SAMANTHA
I mean, I'm begging you to change
him back.
The DOG sits up and BEGS.
SAMANTHA (cont'd)
Isn't that sweet -- he's begging too.
The DOG BARKS angrily.
SAMANTHA (cont'd)
Sorry, Sweetheart, but you looked
so cute, I got carried away!
FADE OUT:
END TEASER
9
ACT ONE
FADE IN:
INT. STEPHENS KITCHEN - DAY
4 CLOSE SHOT - ON DOG 4
CAMERA PULLS BACK to reveal Maurice casually
sitting sipping some coffee. Samantha, pacing
back and forth, is driving home her point.
SAMANTHA
Daddy, I don't understand how
you could do such a thing to
Darrin. One minute you tell me
how well I look, thanks to...
(points to dog)
... his tender loving care and then
you do a thing like this.
The dog barks. Samantha pets it sympathetically.
SAMANTHA (cont'd)
Yes, I know, Sweetheart.
MAURICE
Well...perhaps I did lose my temper
a bit ... but I was completely justified.
SAMANTHA
Of course you were, Daddy, but
remember the quality of mercy
is not strained.
MAURICE
(immediately taking off)
"It is twice blessed. It blesseth
him that gives and him that takes...
Tis mightest in the might..."
SAMANTHA
Exactly! And you're mighty enough
to show some of that mercy to Darrin.
MAURICE
Samantha, you should have been a lawyer.
Maurice gestures and Darrin APPEARS in place of the dog.
Samantha runs over to him, solitiously.
SAMANTHA
Everything's all right now, Sweetheart.
10
4 CONTINUED: 4
DARRIN
(sarcastic)
Sure.
(turns to Maurice)
Thank you, from the bottom of
my jowls.
SAMANTHA
Now I Sweetheart, let's be reasonable.
Let's keep an open mind.
DARRIN
It's open. It's also made up.
MAURICE
Why don't we meet half way?
DARRIN
Half way to where?
MAURICE
I understand-that the gift of
unlimited power is a frightening
thought to a mortal -- but I assure
you once you get used to it, you
won't want to be without it.
DARRIN
(persistent)
Really, Maurice...
MAURICE
(correcting)
Sir!
DARRIN
Sir...
MAURICE
Look, young man -- my daughter
has been decent enough to live
your mortal life for five long
years. Has she not?
DARRIN
Well, yes.
MAURICE
The least you can do is experience
the other side of the coin for a
few short days.
SAMANTHA
Sweetheart, that is a fair compromise.
4CONTINUED: (2)
DARRIN
(swayed)
Well...
MAURICE
Then if you're still uneasy
about it, you may return the
gift and no hard feelings.
SAMANTHA
(quickly)
It's a deal!
DARRIN
Samantha, this is between your
father and myself.
(turns to Maurice)
A few short days... ?
MAURICE
One short day, if you prefer, starting
tomorrow morning.
DARRIN
It's a deal, sir.
He and Maurice shake on it.
MAURICE
Call me Maurice!
A flourish of his cape and Maurice POPS OUT.
DARRIN
(upset at being intimidated)
Now that he's gone, there are a
couple of other things I'd like to
call him.
SAMANTHA
I wouldn't if I were you. Daddy
may be out of sight, but he's never
out of earshot. Sit down and have
your breakfast.
The telephone RINGS. Darrin rises. Crosses to answer it.
DARRIN
(into phone)
Hello? ... Oh, Hi, Larry ... Well,
I got held up by some unexpected
company and I'm just leaving...
Right, good-bye.
(hangs up)
CONTINUED: (3) 4
SAMANTHA
But you haven't had your breakfast.
DARRIN
Honey, I have an important
meeting this morning. I don't
want to be late -- and the
traffic at this hour is impossible.
BOOM, A PUFF OF SMOKE, and Maurice APPEARS, wearing
a flowing cape and carrying a walking stick.
MAURICE
What's this traffic nonsense?
Just command your watch ... and
you're at the office.
DARRIN
Well, actually, Maurice, I
I love the drive...gives me time
to relax ... listen to the traffic
jam bulletins.
MAURICE
You're trying my patience.
DARRIN
I'm sorry but I have certain
principles that I have to live
by.
MAURICE
(with controlled fury)
On the contrary, you don't have to
live at all!
SAMANTHA
(stepping in)
Sweetheart -- you know Daddy's
temper.
DARRIN
Intimately.
MAURICE
(mellowing)
Now, just some simple instructions.
You hold the gift.
Darrin does.
MAURICE (cont'd)
You concentrate on where you want
to be and say:
"Zolda, Prancan, Kopek, Lum."
4 CONTINUED: (4) 4
DARRIN
(repeats, incredulously)
"Zolda, Prancan, Kopek, Lum?"
And suddenly he WHOOSHES out through the wall...a
DISAPPEARING TINY FIGURE. His VOICE comes OVER.
DARRIN'S VOICE
That was a dirty trick!!
SAMANTHA
(calling)
Bye Sweetheart. See you at
dinner.
(to Maurice)
I'll say this for Darrin, he does
disappear like he's been doing it
all his life. Except for the pained
look on his face.
MAURICE
And that.
Maurice points to the floor.
5 ANGLE - FLOOR 5
Darrin's shoes are there.
6 ANOTHER ANGLE 6
MAURICE
(continuing)
But he'll improve with practice.
INT. DARRIN'S OFFICE - DAY
7 It's empty for a BEAT. Darrin POPS IN. He 7
feels himself just to make sure he's in one
piece. He notices his shoes are missing.
Darrin looks at his watch, conflicted. He
finally relents.
DARRIN
(to the watch)
Okay, Darrin needs a new pair
of shoes. Zolda, Prancan, Kopek,
Lum.
14
8 ANGLE - HIS FEET 8
ZAP, he's wearing shoes.
9 ANOTHER ANGLE 9
Darrin, looking down at his shoes.
DARRIN
Not bad. The toes are a little
Pointy, but wbat does a watch
know about shoes?
Darrin is startled by Larry's voice.
LARRY'S VOICE
Miss Wilson, I'll just put these
layouts on Mr. Stephens' desk so
they'll be there when he...
By this time the door is opened and LARRY is
stunned to see Darrin.
LARRY (cont'd)
Darrin! What are you doing here?
10 ANGLE INCLUDING DARRIN 10
DARRIN
(caught)
Looking at my shoes.
LARRY
Well, you must have wings on them.
I just talked to you at home a
minute ago.
DARRIN
Oh -- uh -- that ... hahaha...
thought I'd play a little joke
an you.
LARRY
Joke?
DARRIN
(winging it)
Well, actually it's a gadget -- I read
about it in "Science Over Logic" -- a
new magazine. I put it on my dictaphone
which is connected to vour telephone through
the master conduit of the switch box which
is connected to the apparatus cabinet and
the wiring terminal. It bends the voice
impulse -- you know, to make it sound like
you're there when you're here.
15
10 CONTINUED: 10
Larry just stares at him, dumbly.
LARRY
No kidding?
DARRIN
Works great, huh? Fooled you,
didn't it?!
LARRY
Darrin, I don't know what you're
talking about but I would think
you have better things to do with
your time. For instance, working
on the Bliss Pharmaceutical pre-
sentation ... we're meeting in an hour.
Darrin picks up a presentation folder.
DARRIN
(patting folder)
I've got it right here.
LARRY
Okay, let's go into my office and
check it out.
Larry heads for the door, turns.
LARRY (cont'd)
(still bugged)
Boy, what a dumb, schoolboy trick.
You should be ashamed of yourself.
DARRIN
(as he goes),
Okay, I'm sorry -- I won't do it
again..
Larry starts to leave, then turns back, and looks at
Darrin's feet.
LARRY
By the way, where'd those
shoes come from ... Rome?
DARRIN
Possibly. Do you like them?
LARRY
They're all right... if you like
pointy toes.
Darrin reacts.
CUT TO:
16
INT. KITCHEN - DAY
11 ANGLE ON MAURICE AND THE BABY 11
Maurice is-feedifig the baby. Samantha stands
nearby.
MAURICE
Ah, Samantha, what a handsome
lad. Have you had any indication yet of what his powers
might be?
SAMANTHA
Daddy, he's only five weeks old!
MAURICE
What of it? At his age, I flew.
SAMANTHA
How would you remember a thing
like that?
MA,URICE
When you get-caught in a flock
of swallows returning to Capistrano,
you don't forget it.
(looking at the baby)
Ah yes he's going to be a fine
young warlock.
SAMANTHA.
You know, it's possible he may
be entirely mortal.
MAURICE
Bite your tongue!
SAMANTHA,
(with a sigh)
It would certainly make his home
life a lot simpler.
MAURICE
You're right. These never-
ending conflicts with your
husband are absurd. That's
why I'm glad he decided to be
gracious and accept the watch.
SAMANTHA
What choice did he have? He just
didn't want to spend the rest of his life wagging his tail.
17
CONTINUED: 11
MAURICE
Be that as it may, the important
thing is -- he has the watch.
SAMANTHA
But he'll never use it. He's got
too much character.
MALTRICE
You really believe that?
SAMANTHA
Absolutely.
MAURICE
(craftily)
Suppose, just speaking hypothetically, suppose his life
were in danger? Or yours?
You don't think he might be
tempted?
SAMANTHA
Well, in a case like that, I
think anybody would, but---
MAURICE
Aha! You see? All we have to do
is open a little chink in his armor,
and before you know it, he'll be
defenseless
SAMANTHA.
Daddy, you're talking about him
as if he were an opponent!
MAURICE
My dear, I didn't mean to imply
that in anyway, shape or form.
SAMANTHA
Sorry.
Maurice holds the now empty bottle up; puts it down
and rises with the baby handing him to Samantha.
During this:
WJRICE
I do the feeding. You do the
burping.
Samantha takes the baby.
18
CONTINUED: (2) 11
MAURICE (cont'd)
Now, I think I'll pop in on him
and see how he's doing.
SAMANTHA
(shaking her-head)
You know what you're doing?
You're setting the father-in-
law business back a hundred
years.
Maurice smiles and POPS OUT. Samantha sighs as we
FADE OUT:
END ACT ONE
19
ACT TWO
FADE IN:
INT. DARRIN'S OFFICE - DAY
12 Darrin stands at an easel indicating picture of 12
stylishly designed bottle of cough medicine with
an equally stylish label bearing the name "BLISS
COUGH SYRUP". Looking on with Larry is SILAS
BLISS, JR. -- a man about thirty-five a
victim of decisive indecision.
DARRIN
And then -- as soon as the new Bliss
Cough Syrup bottle is on the shelves
we coordinate an advertising campaign
on radio and television pegged on the
slogan "Ask Any Doctor About A Bad
Cough, And He'll-Tell You, 'Silence
is Bliss!"
BLISS, JR.
Clever!
(a beat)
I think.
LARRY
Clever? It'll knock the competition
on its ear!
Maurice POPS IN, TRANSPARENT. Throughout the following
sequence, Maurice reacts to what he considers sheer
nonsense, by yawning, stretching and lying down on
the couch, etc.
BLISS, JR.
(sure)
You're right.
(backing down)
I guess.
LARRY
Sure, I'm right. And that new
bottle design is a beauty.
BLISS, JR.
(in complete agreement)
Yes, itl.s very handsome. Very!
DARRIN
(looking wisely at this man)
But???
20
12 CONTINUED: 12
BLISS, JR.
(firm -- too firm)
No buts. No buts at all.
LARRY
Good, then it's settled.
13 ANGLE - MAURICE 13
He yawns.
14 BACK TO SCENE 14
BLISS, JR.
(backing down slowly,
hoping it won't be noticed)
Of course the square bottle with the
little gold cap has been our trademark
since 1918 ... when my father started
this business.
LARRY
(less self-assured himself)
Oh? Really?
BLISS, JR.
(trying to be casual)
Not to mention that my father has
always prided himself on making
Bliss Cough Syrup a household
name strictly by word of mouth.
DARRIN
Mr. Bliss, word of mouth is a good
way to spread a cough; not a cough
Syrup.
BLISS, JR.
(laughing amiably)
Oh, that's a good one.
(suddenly unsure)
You are joking, aren't you?
LARRY
Of course, he's joking.
DARRIN
Not really. The fact is your total
sales are down 23% in the past five
years.
21
15 SHOT - MAURICE 15
He stretches, trying to keep awake.
16 BACK TO SCENE 16
BLISS JR.
(miserable)
I know. Awful isn't it?
DARRIN
And unnecessary. You've got to
change with the times.
LARRY
(quickly)
Darrin means, McMann and Tate
are prepared to preserve the old
while adopting the new.
BLISS, JR.
That sounds like a good idea.
(beat)
How do you do that?
DARRIN
(sarcastic)
Yes, Larry. How do you do that?
LARRY
Uh...let's talk about it over lunch.
Maurice lies down on the couch.
BLISS, JR.
Oh, I can't possibly make lunch.
I'm expected at a Board Meeting
this afternoon. In fact, I'm late
already.
He heads for the door, Larry following.
LARRY
Well, I'm sure the Board will be
delighted with our unique approach.
BLISS, JR.
Maybe. But as you know we've also
been talking to Gilbey Associates
about handling our account.
22
16 CONTINUED: 16
LARRY
Oh? No. I didn't know.
(quickly)
Of course, what Stephens was just
saying about new packaging and using
television -- that was strictly
a personal opinion. He doesn't
have the last word. That's up
to me.
DARRIN
(in shock)
Larry...
BLISS,, JR.
(at door)
Well, what do you prefer, Mr.
Tate? Preserving the old or
adopting the new?
LARRY
Not necessarily.
BLISS, JR.
Yes, well -- we'll definitely be
deciding on the approach we want
at the Board Meeting today ... maybe.
Bliss, Jr. exits, leaving Larry completely distraught.
DARRIN
Thanks for the vote of confidence.
LARRY
Darrin, I'm sorry -- but I had to
do something to show we were strong
yet flexible.
DARRIN
Like a tower of jello.
LARRY
I'm a man who operates on the theory
that you find out what the client
wants and that's what you give him.
thinking a moment)
There's only one fly in that jello.
We're not going to be at that board
meeting.
Larry exits unhappily, leaving Darrin alone ... until
interrupted by Maurice, who has now fully MATERIALIZED.
23
16 CONTINUED: 16
MAURICE'S VOICE
Well, Dustin -- doesn't that
suggest something to you?
17 ANOTHER ANGLE - INCLUDING MAURICE 17
He is perched on desk. Darrin whirls.
DARRIN
Maurice, if you don't mind -- I'm
not the slightest bit interested in
attending that meeting -- power or
no power!
MAURICE
You see? It's obviously important
to you or you wouldn't be so overwrought.
(smiles)
Look, why don't we talk about it over
lunch...I know a marvelous little
Chinese restaurant ... very relaxed...
just a few seconds from here.
DARRIN
Well ... all right. Since I have to
eat somewhere...
MAURICE
Splendid. Come along...
With that, Maurice and Darrin suddenly WHOOSH out
of the room.
EXT. HONG KONG STREET - DAY - (STOCK)
18 It's packed with rickshaws and assorted Asians 18
milling about. The potpouri of a typical im-
passable Chinese street is evident.
INT. CHINESE RESTAURANT - DAY
19 Maurice and Darrin are at a table. Maurice is 19
eating; Darrin is fuming. The patrons and
waiters are all Asians. The scene is as authen-
tic as possible.
MAURICE
You can tell the food is excellent.
All the Hong Kong truck drivers eat
here.
24
19 CONTINUED: 19
DARRIN
(furious)
Never mind that. You Shanghied
me to Hong Kong.
MAURICE
Shanghied you to Hong..Kong!
That pun is worthy of Uncle
Arthur.
DARRIN
Maurice, I insist that you get
me out of here this instant.
MAURICE
Stop worrying. You won't miss
the board meeting.
DARRIN
I certainly will miss it. I have
no intention of going.
MAURICE
(puzzled)
Why not?
DARRIN
Because it's dishonest.
MAURICE
You'll be invisible. Who's going
to know?
DARRIN
Me! I'm going to know.
MAURICE
Very well. You can leave Hong
Kong any time you want to.
He makes a gesture. The WATCH FLIES out of Darrin's
pocket into Maurice's hand. Maurice throws it up
and down in his hand.
MAURICE (cont'd)
On your own power.
DARRIN
I'd swim back home before
I'd agree to use that watch.
Maurice gives him an angry look.
25
19 CONTINUED: (2) 19
MAURICE
Darwin, look into my eyes and
listen to me very carefully.
Darrin looks into his eyes.
20 CLOSE SHOT - MAURICE'S EYES 20
21 CLOSE SHOT - DARRIN'S EYES 21
22 BACK TO SCENE 22
MAURICE
You are quicksilver -- a fleeting
shadow -- a distant sound -- your
life has no boundary beyond which
you cannot pass. You live in music
in a flash of color! You live on
the wind and in the sparkle of a
star... for twenty-four hours you
will obey my will and indulge in the
use of your gift.
23 ANGLE - DARRIN 23
His eyes are a little glassy.
24 TWO-SHOT - MAURICE 24
Maurice makes a subtle gesture with his hand and
there is a MUSICAL STING.
25 CLOSE SHOT - DARRIN 25
smiles, pleased..
DARRIN
You know, Sir...
MAURICE
(interrupting)
Call me Maurice.
DARRIN
You have marvelous powers of
persuasion, Maurice.
26
25 CONTINUED: 25
MAURICE
(matter-of-factly)
Yes, I know.
DARRIN
I better be getting back.
MAURICE
Yes, of course.
He tosses him the watch.
DARRIN
(thinking)
Uh ... Prancee ... Zolda...
MAURICE
(corrects him)
Zolda, Prancan, Kopek, Lum.
Don't re-write me.
DARRIN
Zolda, Prancan, Kolum, Pek.
MAURICE
(corrects again)
Kopek ... Lum.
DARRIN
Oh ... oh...Kopek ... Lum.
With that Darrin POPS OUT leaving Maurice shaking his
head.
MAURICE
Sometimes I wonder why I
even try.
CUT TO:
INT. STEPHENS NURSERY - DAY
26 Samantha is busy diapering the baby. Maurice 26
POPS IN beside her.
MAURICE
Hello, my dear.
SAMANTHA
Oh. Hello, Daddy.
She continues diapering during following.
26CONTINUED:
MAURICE
Well, aren't you curious to
know how things are going
with Darwin?
SAMANTHA
Darrin. Yes, but I'm afraid
to ask. I just hope you haven't
been bothering him.
MAURICE
On the contrary, we just had a
most delightful lunch.
SAMANTHA
(brightening)
Really? Oh, I'm glad to hear
that. You see, if you approach
Darrin on his own level, he's
really good company. Where did
you eat?
MAURICE
A very charming little Chinese
place.
SAMANTHA
Oh, the one that's Darrin's
favorite over on the west side?
MAURICE
No, this one was on the east side,
you might say. But while I was
at his office, I was able to
observe him in action. He's quite
good at his work, you know.
SAMANTHA
Of course, that's what I've been
telling you.
MAURICE
(enigmatically)
And he's going to be even better.
Samantha stops in mid-action and regards Maurice
auspiciously.
SAMANTHA
Daddy, I know you well enough to
know that when you're that pleasant
about Darrin, something is wrong.
For Darrin. Now what does that mean:
"He's going to be even better?"
28
26 CONTINUED: 26
MAURICE
I merely meant that all he has
to do is -- watch out. And now
if you'll excuse me...
He waves and POPS OUT. Samantha looks after him,
preoccupied with concern.
SAMANTHA
Poor Darrin! No wonder they
call husbands the bitter half!
CUT TO:
INT. BOARD ROOM - DAY
27 Silas Bliss, Jr. stands addressing SILAS BLISS, SR., 27
a crusty old white-haired patriarch, who sits at
head of large board table. OTHER LESSER EXECUTIVES are also seated at table
BLISS, JR.
Now then, Father, turning to the
Gilbey Associates approach, they
have a completely opposite viewpoint from that of McMann & Tate.
As Bliss, Jr., pauses to take a sip of water, Darrin
POPS IN sitting in air behind group of men. Obviously
uncomfortable, he feels air around him for means of
support. (NOTE: HE IS TRANSPARENT AND CANNOT BE
SEEN BY OTHERS.)
BLISS, SR.
Well, go on ... go on!
BLISS, JR.
Gilbey recommends we keep the
traditional Bliss Cough Syrup
bottle...
BLISS, SR.
With-the little gold cap on the top?
BLISS, JR.
With the little gold cap on the top.
BLISS, SR.
Good, good...I like the little
gold cap, doesn't everybody?
The other Executives react in agreement.
29
28 ANGLE - DARRIN 28
Although under a spell, he is still conscience stricken so he tries not to listen by holding his hands over his ears. As he does, Maurice POPS IN
beside him, also TRANSPARENT. (NOTE: DIALOGUE IN
B.G. CONTINUES CONCURRENTLY.)
MAURICE
Sorry I'm late, Darrin
but I had to pay the bill
and they didn't have change
of a million dollar yen.
(notices Darrin's
hands on his ears)
What's the matter? You
have a headache?
DARRIN
Shh, they'll hear you.
(lowers his hands)
MAURICE
No they won't. We're both
invisible and inaudible.
DARRIN
And miserable. Let's not
forget that.
BLISS, JR. (o.s.)
Now at McMann & Tate,
father, they're recom-
mending radio, television
and all that sort of thing.
BLISS, SR., (o.s.)
And what about the Gilbey
people? What's their
scheme?
BLISS, JR. (o.s.)
The old mail order approach
29 ANGLE - THE BOARD TABLE 29
Featuring the two Bliss'. Darrin and Maurice are
in the b.g.
BLISS, SR.
Well, what do you say, son?
BLISS, JR.
Well, sir, I say ... I'd love to
hear what you have to say first.
BLISS, SR.
Smart boy, respects his father.
He'll go far. Right?
The other Executives react in agreement.
30 SHOT - MAURICE - DARRIN 30
(as they walk around the board table, talk continues
in b.g.)
30 CONTINUED: 30
MAURICE BLISS, SR. (o.s.)
Smart old man. Notice how Anybody else got any-
he.controls his child? I thing to say? Jurgens?
wonder how he does it. Whitfield? -Johnson?
DARRIN BLISS, JR. (o.s.)
(not holding his Looks like we're all
ears) waiting for you, father.
Shhh! Please!
BLISS, SR. (o.s.)
Well, I'll tell you how I feel about it.
MAURICE
I told you, they can't hear us.
DARRIN
No, no! Them! I can't
hear them!
31 FULL SHOT - BOARD ROOM 31
BLISS, SR. (cont'd)
I say we've been in busines
fifty years.
BLISS, JR.
Right!
BLISS, SR.
And if it's good enough for
fifty years, it's good enough
for fifty-one.
BLISS, JR.
Right!
BLISS., SR.
So. I say we go with Gilbey.
BLISS, JR.
With Gilbey, sir. All the way!
Darrin looks at his watch, and starts to incant.
DARRIN
Zolda, Prancan...
MAURICE
(tired of hearing it)
Just think it, lad.
Darrin closes his eyes, thinks, then incants and
POPS OUT.
31
31 CONTINUED: 31
MAURICE
(watching him go)
Hmmm, he handled that beautifully.
I know when I'm not needed.
He gestures and POPS OUT.
INT. LARRY'S OFFICE
32 Larry is sitting at his desk, concentrating on 32
some work. Darrin suddenly POPS IN to the
middle of the office. Larry looks up, surprised.
LARRY
Darrin, for Pete's sake, what
are you doing in my office?
I didn't even hear you come in.
DARRIN
It's these shoes. They're
not only pointy, they're squeak-
proof.
LARRY
Bliss hasn't called me yet.
What do you think it means?
DARRIN
I think it means we lost the account
to Gilbey.
LARRY
(annoyed)
Who asked you?
DARRIN
But I know how we can get it back.
LARRY
Get it back. We didn't even lose
it. I just told you I haven't heard
from Bliss yet.
DARRIN
Larry, I've got inside information.
LARRY
(starting to believe)
You do?
DARRIN
The only way to get that account
is to give old man Bliss what he
wants.
32 CONTINUED: 32
LARRY
What's that?
DARRIN
His little gold cap and a 1930
sales approach.
LARRY
Darrin are you sure?
DARRIN
(cocky)
I'll stake my job on it.
LARRY
(nods)
You have ... you have.
(crosses to door)
Get busy on the new roughs and
I'll call Bliss and talk him into
another meeting.
Larry exits only to reappear a beat later.
LARRY (cont'd)
Darrin, if you don't mind, this
is my office.
FLIP TO:
INT. DARRIN'S OFFICE - DAY
33 Darrin, at desk, is gathering up rough sketches 33
as Larry enters in happy frame of mind.
LARRY
Well! I talked to Bliss, Jr.,
and hinted we scrapped our whizbang approach for a more traditional concept and he went for it.
DARRIN
(expansively)
Larry ... you're going to have to get
used to something ... I'm never wrong.
LARRY
I can get used to you never being
wrong but I don't know if I can get
used to your saying it.
Darrin rises, heads for door with sketches
33 CONTINUED: 33
DARRIN
Yeah, well I better get these
sketches over to the art department.
LARRY
Oh. One more thing, Darrin. I
took the liberty of inviting Bliss
over to your house for dinner tomorrow night ... and he said he'd love
to come...and held let us know if
he could make it right after he checked
with his father.
DARRIN
My house? Why my house?
LARRY
(matter-of-factly)
Because this was all your idea.
DARRIN
In some strange way, I guess that
makes sense.
LARRY
If we do get the Bliss Account, there's
a big bonus in it for you.
DARRIN
Well, thank you Larry.
Larry pauses -- looks at Darrin curiously.
LARRY
How'd you get that inside info?
DARRIN
Larry, so help me, if I told you,
you wouldn't believe me!
Larry grins, waggles finger at Darrin.
LARRY
You son of a gun.
He exits.
34ANGLE - DARRIN 34
He takes out the watch, looks at it, smiles.
34 CONTINUED: 34
DARRIN
(a proclamation)
Today the Bliss Pharmaceutical
Account; Tomorrow the world!
FADE OUT:
END ACT TWO
35
TAG
FADE IN:
INT. STEPHENS LIVING ROOM - DAY
35 Maurice and Samantha. Maurice is sipping from his 35
large martini glass, Samantha from a small one.
Samantha listens as Maurice goes on about Darrin.
MAURICE
You should have seen him, Samantha.
Zapping and Popping like an old pro.
SAMANTHA
(smiles -- nods)
Remember, he only promised to use
the power for one day...after that
I'm sure he'll revert to his amateur
standing.
MAURICE
I don't think so, Samantha...he has
opened the forbidden can of peas...
he has taken the proverbial inch.
He has tasted power ... it's like
popcorn, once you start, you can
stop.
SAMANTHA
You don't know Darrin.
MAURICE
I know mortals. They have as
much backbone as a used soda
straw.
SAMANTHA
Darrin is an exceptional human
being!
MAURICE
Your loyalty is commendable, but
your perspective is a little distorted.
SAMANTHA
Not at all! He's sensitive,
principled and a very good judge
of character.
MAURICE
Sssh!
35 CONTINUED: 35
SAMANTHA
What is it?
MAURICE
Here comes the judge.
(kissing her)
Goodbye, my dear. I think my
continued presence would only
embarrass you.
He makes a gesture and POPS OUT.
SAMANTHA
Good-bye, Daddy.
Samantha sits down. She looks a little worried.
36 ANOTHER ANGLE - HALL 36
Door opens and Darrin comes in ... in very high
spirits.
DARRIN
Hi Sweetheart.
He crosses to Samantha. They kiss.
SAMANTHA
Hi, Sweetheart ... wait'll you
hear what happened today...
DARRIN
Can it wait, honey? Because I've
got some great news.
SAMANTHA
Mine's pretty good too.
DARRIN
Sam, I've got to get this off
my chest. I've come to an obvious
conclusion that I've been stupid
and selfish and unreasonable and I
ask you to forgive me.
SAMANTHA
For what?
DARRIN
Sam ... it's simple ... I married you
for what you are -- if I love you
enough, I have to accept that..just
as you have accepted certain things
about my world. All these years 3
you've been denied the luxuries
that are your natural heritage.
Well, that's all over now...
SAMANTHA
Over?
DARRIN
Yes. Your father is right. You
deserve all the things that I
haven't been able to give you.
SAMANTHA
But Sweetheart, I've got everything
I want.
DARRIN
Not enough! Why, by the time I
could afford to buy you a mink
coat, minks might be extinct.
All I'm suggesting is that we
speed things up a little. Now
tell me -- what's your good news?
SAMANTHA
Oh. Well, it's about the baby. He
rolled over today.
DARRIN
(blankly)
Rolled over what?
SAMANTHA
You know -- turned over by himself.
DARRIN
What's so great about that?
SAMANTHA
At five weeks?
DARRIN
Oh. Hey, that's great! Now
let's celebrate. How about dinner
at Maxim's in Paris?
SAMANTHA
Darrin, would you mind if we had a
quiet evening at home ... I'm afraid
that our surprise has taken a lot
out of me.
36 CONTINUED: (2) 36
DARRIN
I knew you'd be thrilled...
so we'll have a quiet dinner
at home. I'll go get cleaned up.
He exits.
37 CLOSE ANGLE - SAMANTHA 37
As she wearily sits down. We HEAR MAURICE'S VOICE:
MAURICE'S VOICE
He has opened the forbidden can
of peas ... he has taken the proverbial inch. He has tasted power...
it's like popcorn. Once you start
you can't stop.
SAMANTHA
Not Darrin ... No.
(she smiles)
it's been a big day for Darrin.
A good night's sleep and he'll
feel differently in the morning...
(serious again)
I hope.
And on Samantha's poignant but hopeful look we
FREEZE FRAME
OVER THIS:
ANNOUNCER'S VOICE
Don't miss Part Two of "Daddy
Comes to Visit"...aptly titled
"Darrin The Warlock" next week
on BEWITCHED.
FADE OUT:
THE END
